Hello everybodyyyy, this is a more personal post. Hope you feel related.


Senior year. When I was little and my older cousins were seniors I looked at them like they were already really old and I've always wanted to be a senior and I imagined it to be like the best year of my life but now that I'm a senior I see how wrong I was.

High School wasn't what I expected it to be if I'm honest. Don't get me wrong I had a great time but I expected to be different... I expected to fall in love with an amazing boy and stay friends with all my incredible friends but nothing of that happened. No amazing boys and I've realized that some of who I considered my friends were only people who only cared about themselves and when the summer came they forgot about me but I have also met new incredible people who I never believed I'd be friends with. I have so many good memories and some others not that great but I can't believe it's going to be over this next year, time flies and I can't change anything and all what have happened has made me who I am.



So I get back to Senior year. In Spain, where I live, we don't have Homecoming dance or a big graduation that boys take you to, we only celebrate a little party in our school but we dress up with fancy dresses too. The thing is that I've always wanted this year to come but am I ready to go to university? I don't even know what to study and I will have to do whatever I chose to do FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE so I'm so scared. (You can see my post Scared of the future to see why I'm afraid.) I'm happy because I won't have to be in this paper town with these paper people because if you have seen Paper Towns I kinda feel like Margo, like I don't belong here because everyone is so fake.


I'm also stressed because I have to have really good grades this last year because the mark that I'll obtain will determinate my future and this is a thing that I personally hate, what if I have a bad year? Will I have to study something that I dislike because a stupid number? But anyways I start my exams this week so I have to study harder this year :(

And I have come to the conclusion that I have to do the most of this year because we are always going to remember our last year of high school but you don't have to do things you're not confortable with! (for example, I enjoy staying at home, I don't like parties too much and not because someone says that you have to smoke or to get drunk every weekend to have fun you don't have to believe them, you can always have fun doing whatever makes you happy, I enjoy going out to take pictures and recording silly videos so that's what I'll do) Of course I'm going to try to go out more just to spend more time with my friends because next year we will be each one in one city of the country so I will try. 

Besides, one resolution I have made is that I'm going to be more positive, bye bye negativity, everything will work out if I work hard. I'm going to write down positive quotes to read them when I'll feel sad. Do whatever makes you happy and ignore any kind of negativity, you are better than that, be the best you can be and it will be enough.

and PLEASE, IF YOU'R HAVING A BAD TIME FOR WHATEVER REASON, TRY TO TALK WITH SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU, DON'T KEEP IT FOR YOURSELF, THINK THAT EVERYONE FEELS EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE FEELING AT SOME POINT OF THEIR LIVES, YOU'RE NOT ALONE. 

lots of love and please comment what do you think. Sorry for any grammar or expelling mistakes.