As my "scared of the future" post has been my most successful post I'm going to write something related to it. I'm going to talk about my future, who I want to be, to become. (here is the post: http://hicallmehelen.blogspot.com.es/2015/06/scared-of-future.html check it out!)

As far as you know I'm on senior year and I have no idea what I'm going to study and where. Every time I'm walking down the streets and I stop to talk to some friends of my parents the main topic is: "Oh, you're a senior, what are you going to study next year?" and in my mind I answer "I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA AND I'M ALREADY STRESSED ABOUT IT SO IT IS NICE THAT YOU'VE ASKED SO I'LL STRESS MORE, THANK YOU" but instead I smile and say "I don't know yet"


I have an idea that I like for example editing videos, traveling but are there any degrees where you can study that? I have found Audiovisual communication that is the most similar talking about editing and with journalism you can specialize later on traveling, and guess what? There is a double degree where I can do both together!!!!!!! I was so happy because I thought I have found the one but then I was looking the mark that is asked and it is a 11.5/14 which is a super high mark that I'm not going to have even if I try my best so, bye bye wonderful degree.

Here I'm, lost again, because I don't know if I would like them separately. Once again I envy people who have it so clear like for example my cousin, he have always wanted to study arts and he is, he is so good drawing and he is at university studying arts and he is so happy and it makes me feel anxious because I'm not good at anything, I have no talent and I don't want to study something to be in an office 24/7 doing everyday the same thing for 40 years, I don't want to study something that doesn't passionate me.

The worst thing is that time flies, I have to start looking for universities but how if I don't know which degree I would be able to do?  I was stressed one day that I exploded because why can't I study something that I like even if I try my best  because not even my best isn't good enough?  that really upsets me, that's unfair.

But at least I know that I'm not the only one feeling like this, right? We will figure ourselves out, everyone has done it so we can do it, I really hope that everyone of us will become the person we want, and do whatever we want to do, whatever makes us happy because it is what we deserve.



COMMENT BELOW WHAT YOU THINK!
Thank you for reading, lots of love,
Helen here.