Call Me Helen: 2015

PHOTO IDEAS: LONDON

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FIGURATING OURSELVES OUT (THE FUTURE)

life 13:29

As my "scared of the future" post has been my most successful post I'm going to write something related to it. I'm going to talk about my future, who I want to be, to become. (here is the post: http://hicallmehelen.blogspot.com.es/2015/06/scared-of-future.html check it out!)

As far as you know I'm on senior year and I have no idea what I'm going to study and where. Every time I'm walking down the streets and I stop to talk to some friends of my parents the main topic is: "Oh, you're a senior, what are you going to study next year?" and in my mind I answer "I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA AND I'M ALREADY STRESSED ABOUT IT SO IT IS NICE THAT YOU'VE ASKED SO I'LL STRESS MORE, THANK YOU" but instead I smile and say "I don't know yet"

I have an idea that I like for example editing videos, traveling but are there any degrees where you can study that? I have found Audiovisual communication that is the most similar talking about editing and with journalism you can specialize later on traveling, and guess what? There is a double degree where I can do both together!!!!!!! I was so happy because I thought I have found the one but then I was looking the mark that is asked and it is a 11.5/14 which is a super high mark that I'm not going to have even if I try my best so, bye bye wonderful degree.

Here I'm, lost again, because I don't know if I would like them separately. Once again I envy people who have it so clear like for example my cousin, he have always wanted to study arts and he is, he is so good drawing and he is at university studying arts and he is so happy and it makes me feel anxious because I'm not good at anything, I have no talent and I don't want to study something to be in an office 24/7 doing everyday the same thing for 40 years, I don't want to study something that doesn't passionate me.

The worst thing is that time flies, I have to start looking for universities but how if I don't know which degree I would be able to do? I was stressed one day that I exploded because why can't I study something that I like even if I try my best because not even my best isn't good enough? that really upsets me, that's unfair.

But at least I know that I'm not the only one feeling like this, right? We will figure ourselves out, everyone has done it so we can do it, I really hope that everyone of us will become the person we want, and do whatever we want to do, whatever makes us happy because it is what we deserve.

COMMENT BELOW WHAT YOU THINK!
Thank you for reading, lots of love,
Helen here.

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Simple things that will make you happier.

college 11:18

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SENIOR YEAR.

life 20:10

Hello everybodyyyy, this is a more personal post. Hope you feel related.

Senior year. When I was little and my older cousins were seniors I looked at them like they were already really old and I've always wanted to be a senior and I imagined it to be like the best year of my life but now that I'm a senior I see how wrong I was.

High School wasn't what I expected it to be if I'm honest. Don't get me wrong I had a great time but I expected to be different... I expected to fall in love with an amazing boy and stay friends with all my incredible friends but nothing of that happened. No amazing boys and I've realized that some of who I considered my friends were only people who only cared about themselves and when the summer came they forgot about me but I have also met new incredible people who I never believed I'd be friends with. I have so many good memories and some others not that great but I can't believe it's going to be over this next year, time flies and I can't change anything and all what have happened has made me who I am.

So I get back to Senior year. In Spain, where I live, we don't have Homecoming dance or a big graduation that boys take you to, we only celebrate a little party in our school but we dress up with fancy dresses too. The thing is that I've always wanted this year to come but am I ready to go to university? I don't even know what to study and I will have to do whatever I chose to do FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE so I'm so scared. (You can see my post Scared of the future to see why I'm afraid.) I'm happy because I won't have to be in this paper town with these paper people because if you have seen Paper Towns I kinda feel like Margo, like I don't belong here because everyone is so fake.

I'm also stressed because I have to have really good grades this last year because the mark that I'll obtain will determinate my future and this is a thing that I personally hate, what if I have a bad year? Will I have to study something that I dislike because a stupid number? But anyways I start my exams this week so I have to study harder this year :(

And I have come to the conclusion that I have to do the most of this year because we are always going to remember our last year of high school but you don't have to do things you're not confortable with! (for example, I enjoy staying at home, I don't like parties too much and not because someone says that you have to smoke or to get drunk every weekend to have fun you don't have to believe them, you can always have fun doing whatever makes you happy, I enjoy going out to take pictures and recording silly videos so that's what I'll do) Of course I'm going to try to go out more just to spend more time with my friends because next year we will be each one in one city of the country so I will try.

Besides, one resolution I have made is that I'm going to be more positive, bye bye negativity, everything will work out if I work hard. I'm going to write down positive quotes to read them when I'll feel sad. Do whatever makes you happy and ignore any kind of negativity, you are better than that, be the best you can be and it will be enough.

and PLEASE, IF YOU'R HAVING A BAD TIME FOR WHATEVER REASON, TRY TO TALK WITH SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU, DON'T KEEP IT FOR YOURSELF, THINK THAT EVERYONE FEELS EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE FEELING AT SOME POINT OF THEIR LIVES, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

lots of love and please comment what do you think. Sorry for any grammar or expelling mistakes.

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My experience in Los Angeles.

amazing 12:39

Why LA? Well, first of all I have to say that I booked for NY but it was cancelled so I had to change my destination and I chose Los Angeles. I'm so glad I did it because who knows if in New York I would have had so much fun...

I stayed with a host family in Bakersfield, CA, and in there it was really really hot. It's a big town/city/whatever with a great mall and well, my host family was a couple of 60 years old more or less and they hosted an Austrian girl too but what was cool about this family is that they had two daughters, each one with their own house and car and each one hosted two students (2 boys and, the other, 2 girls)

With EF (the agency I travelled with) it was included: a trip to LA, a trip to Santa Barbara, one Dodgers game (baseball in LA) and a trip to the National Sequoia Park. The rest was optional and by optional I mean that you have to pay like a lot. I booked a weekend in San Francisco and a day in Universal Studios + the next day Venice Beach and Santa Monica. Other students booked Disneyland or Six flags or both but I thought it was a lot of money so I didn't pay more. You have to keep in mind that if you don't book the residence you're not going to be in LA or other big cities as much as you expect. You go twice but for me, LA was great but the city itself didn't impress me like too much. Just the luxury in Beverly Hills, the Walk of fame and that's it.

I have to say that maybe EF isn't the best company because of their organization, that is not the best but if you know what to expect, like I did, because I travelled to London with them, you know you have extra activities you will have to pay for and they will tell you that you will go to LA but the truth is that your destination will be a town in the middle of nowhere and you will have 2h30 drive to LA. (it is the same if you go anywhere else in the USA)

And maybe my host family wasn't the best family because other families took their students to the beach, to LA, to Las Vegas... but mine was the typical American family that they eat out everyday(fast food!!!!!!!!), watch TV, and they put us, the 6 students together in my house and we had a pool so we spent a month in the pool, talking about our lives and we became really good friends. We were: a Austrian girl, a German girl, a German boy, an Italian boy, an Italian girl and me, a Spanish girl. They were the best part of the trip because we had our little squad and they took us to ice skating, bowling, to a farm and for example when we went to the excursions each one of us went with the ones that spoke our language (me with the Spanish people, the Italians with the Italians and so on) but at the end of the trip the last excursions we went the 6 of us more together you know.

The Italian girl was like an Italian version of me, we thought the same way, we liked the same things and we became like best friends and now we still talking everyday and I'll go next year to see her to Italy to her house.

So yeah, these are some things I wanted to share with you, if you can afford it I 100% recommend you to go to one of these trips because you have so much fun, you meet new people and new places and moreover you learn new things.

If you have any questions about it you can ask me whatever you want!!!!!

Here is a video I did of some of videos I did, it's not the best but you can see how many things I did there.

Pls watch it!Like it!Comment!